Princess Chunk - The 44 Pound Cat

VOORHEES, NJ: Princess Chunk as she's known tipped the scales at 44 pounds. "I think I need to go on a diet before they wind up having to cut me out of my house" Princess stated.

"I just see that bowl of Friskies and I can't stop until it's done" she added.

Princess will opt for a traditional low calorie, low carb diet with plenty of water and exercise. Princess has not ruled out gastric bypass surgery if she doesn't get the results she wants from the traditional diet.
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Celebrity Rapper Checks Into Rehab

Cat rapper and superstar Dirty Litter Box, or DLB as he is more commonly known checked himself into rehab this weekend after several of his close friends and family staged an intervention. “He finally realized all the pain he’s caused all of us through his addictions to catnip, powdered milk and prescription painkillers.” said his close friend Hobbes.

“DLB was spinning out of control with his all night benders sniffing lines of powdered milk off of strippers’ asses and then indulging in catnip with his druggie friends.”

DLB checked himself into the Betty Ford clinic to address his issues. All his friends are wishing him well on his recovery.
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