Shut Up Bitch And Let Me Sleep

Local woman harasses sleeping cat for her amusement. "I can't wait for that bitch to leave for work every morning" replied Sam the cat. "I am lying there trying to sleep and every morning without fail that bitch starts F-ing with me for no reason but to post the video on YouTube. How many times do I need to tell her to leave me the F alone?"

Sam is looking into alternate living arrangements.
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Sweet Toothed Kitty

Local cat is scolded by his dentist and told to stop eating sweets or face losing teeth to cavities.

'I Got Full' After Eating A Half Pound Burrito

FAIRFAX, VA: Sylvester Davis reported that he felt ‘full’ after eating a half pound burrito from Taco Bell.

“I never seem to get full when I eat, but that half pound of beans, rice, cheese, onions and peppers did me in. I think I’m going to take a cat nap here on the couch now.”

Sylvester’s wife however was not as happy with the whole ‘burrito’ eating. “I’m not looking forward to the ‘burrito’ he’s going to leave in the litter box. He’s going to clean that out himself.”
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Cats Caught Talking