America’s Next Top Marley

Marley awoke at daybreak. He was newly invigorated and inspired with the thought that he is destined to become America’s Next Top Model (ANTM). Without a thought in his head that cats (and male cats at that) are not presently accepted in the ANTM contest, he quickly posed for some impromptu shots as he lay strewn across an oriental rug. He then barked orders to the photog to turn on the wind effects, play his mood music and to get his mineral water before he strikes his personal assistant. It was then that the photog knew that Marley’s addiction to catnip had spiraled out of control.

The photog knew he had to take action and to help get Marley into a substance abuse program. Marley, not having hit his rock bottom yet, was still in denial and expressed his anger by defecating on the set.

The photog immediately shut down the set and called Marley’s agent to inform him of his acting out and urged him to get Marley the help he needed. Marley’s agent was contacted several times, but refused to comment on the evolving situation.

An unnamed source close to Marley noted that she has known about Marley’s problems for some time, but thought he was keeping it under control. She now just hopes that this one action won’t taint the good image of aspiring cat models.
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