Cat States His Case In Letter to Santa
I feel I need to explain some events that happened this year that could be misconstrued as possible bad behavior.
First - The missing fish from the aquarium
Let me just say that I heard the fish talking about running/swimming away the day before he went missing, and the fact that I was alone with the fish the next day went he went missing is merely a coincidence.
Second - Jumping up on the dinner table and eating the chicken
As a house cat, I have sworn to protect and defend the inhabitants of said house. I saw that the freshly roasted chicken posed a clear and present danger to the family, so I jumped up on the table to defend the family.
Third - Spilling of water on computer keyboard
Yes, I have been seen jumping up on the computer desk several times, but that doesn't mean I spilled the water. I was exiting the room to go inform the owner that the wind from the open window was most likely the culprit.
So in conclusion, I have actually been a very good kitten this year and I look forward to your visit on Christmas. I would very much like if you could bring me the following: string, catnip, and fluffy blankets.
- Martin Snickers
P.S. I'd really appreciate it if you could take the dog, or at least make sure he goes missing.