Cinco de Marley

The Mexican holiday--Cinco de Mayo was greeted by Marley in his usual manner by chugging two 6-packs of Coronas in 2 hours. Onlookers were amazed by his alcohol tolerance for being just a regular sized cat.

After the second hour of Marley’s celebratory chug fest, he started to feel “woozy.” He then proceeded to point out various people in the room to exclaim how much he loved them…or hated them.

The embarrassing scene was recanted by an onlooker who did not wish to be identified for fear of reprisals.

“I can’t believe he said he hated me. I thought we had a good relationship, but now he has become abusive between his drinking and catnip addiction and I am moving out of his house tonight.” the anonymous onlooker said.

Marley could not be reached for comment the following day, but his publicist stated that he was “sleeping it off” and looked forward to rebuffing these baseless allegations.
-xxx