Best Friend Pushed From Window in Jealous Rage

WASHINGTON, DC: Jacob McWiskers of the Adams Morgan neighborhood of Washington, DC was arraigned in district court today for attempted murder of his best friend Fluffy Kitty. An alleged argument about a feline of mutual interest was said to precede the incident.

Defense attorney for Mr. McWiskers stated that “What appears on video is taken out of context. My client was merely trying to save Mr. Kitty as he was precariously close to the edge of the window sill.”

Mr. Kitty remains in stable condition at Georgetown University Hospital suffering from 2 bruised paws and is expected to make a full recovery.

Eyewitnesses on the street below stated that “It was amazing that after falling 2 stories he landed on his feet.”

McWiskers is being held without bail for a court hearing this week.
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