Boogy Fever Strikes In Maryland
Dr. Julie Gerberding, Director of the Centers for Disease Control stated that “We thought we had the dreaded boogy fever (a.k.a. gettus downis wita funk) eradicated in the early 80’s with the ‘disco is dead’ slogan. It has apparently reared its ugly head again with high risk populations located mostly around retro dance clubs that play 70’s music.”
There has also been a separate sub strain of the boogy fever known as Cat Scratch Fever or spinnis maximus. Symptoms for spinnis maximus that have been seen are cats playing 70’s dance albums and performing DJ mixing and cat scratching.
The CDC has already dispatched a special pathology team to the area protecting them with earplugs and headsets playing continuous light rock music. Dr. John Nofun, On Scene Investigative Leader stated that “We believe our team is significantly protected against the boogy fever with these precautions. We have also taken further precautions by making sure the pathology team is comprised solely of white men with no rhythm.”
The investigative team is due to report back their findings by tomorrow.